"If" or "When" - Using presuppositional language in coaching

Solution Focused practice has a long tradition using “presuppositional” language. Presuppositional language sets assumptions that may be helpful for the client to hold as given in order to open the space for exploration, for example beyond a problem or issue the client is bringing to coaching.

Let us say the client wants to be more mindful of their health, exercise and sleep more and eat healthier. The presuppositional language of the coach might be:

“When you are more mindful of your health, who would be the first person to notice?”

The sentence “when you are more mindful of your health” presupposes, assumes that the client’s objective is going to be fulfilled at some point in the future. The coach might have asked the same question without the assumption:

“If you were more mindful of your health, who would be the first person to notice?”

With the “if” sentence, the client’s objective still stays in “maybe” land. It cements that currently the client is not mindful of their health and casts a bit of doubt on the feasibility of the project.

Solution Focused practitioners try not to have any assumptions about the client, except the helpful assumptions that change is possible and that the client does have resources to move in the direction of their desired change. This is why, even though it may seem a bit manipulative, a Solution Focused coach may opt to use language presupposing just that: change is possible, and the client can move toward the desired change.

Here are some of the possible differences that using “when” instead of “if” (or other forms of presupposing change is possible) can make in a conversation with a client:

We ask clients for observable signs that happen “when” the client has reached their objective., both by asking about what the client will notice and what others will notice. By describing these signs, the client becomes aware of them and most often realizes that there are things that they can start doing today without a lot of hassle: “When I am more mindful of my health, I will not wake up with my cell phone alarm, but automatically because I am rested and my cell phone is being charged in the living room.”

By asking for observable sign, the coach invites the client can see themselves as the person they would like to become. They are describing the actions, thoughts, feelings and interactions of the changed version of themselves. This allows them to “try on” this new person and notice the advantages (and maybe disadvantages) that achieving their goal may have: “When I am more mindful of my health, I will be able to go hiking with my children. My pal Joe is not going to be happy, as I won’t be spending so much time in the pub.” This form of a “dry run” makes achieving the goal more realistic.

Talking in terms of “when” instills hope that the change can happen and does not assume that none of the desired behavior is happening today. “If you were more mindful of your health”, implies that you are not mindful today. “When you are more mindful...” does not imply that you are not mindful now. Adding an “even” supports the presupposition that there are already signs of the desired future more strongly: “When you are even more mindful…”

Using presuppositional language also has ethical implications. As coaches, we have to be very careful with our assumptions and try to only hold as few useful assumptions about the client as possible. Anything else creates the danger of “colonizing” our client, making them adhere to our frame of reference rather than inviting them to create their own progress within their frame.

“When have you stopped beating your wife” – this is the classic example of a negative presupposition. Of course, coaches would not use such drastic strategies. However, even language like “as an introvert….” or “with your ADHD…” or “given your trauma of…”  can presuppose that these concepts are valid or applicable to our clients. Whenever we bring anything other than assumptions about the possibility of change and the existence of resources which we need to invite any change, we have to be careful to check the relevance of what we are assuming with our clients. For example: “I have heard you describe yourself as an introvert – is this relevant here in any way?”

Is it ethical and necessary to hold any presuppositions about the client? Do let me know what you think and come to one of our free meetups and exchanges if you would like discuss this or other issues around coaching.

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