When coaching clients want to continue - but you don't think they need to

Suppose you have a coaching client who is not stuck, who has many resources, knows how to think about their issues and you can’t, for the life of you, understand why they still want to come to coaching sessions. If you are a very ethical coach you might even ask yourself whether you would be committing ethical misconduct if you continued coaching someone who clearly does not need it.

I am congratulating you for the thought and the ethical scrutiny: Indeed, we should ask ourselves whether to continue coaching someone when they are self-sufficient. We should be questioning whether we are helping the client to generate sufficient value from the sessions and not just coach because we are being paid for it.

Here are a few questions that may help you in your decisions in these matters.

Is the client becoming dependent on you?

You don’t want your client to look forward to you like they are looking forward to their next fix of an addictive substance. If your client thinks that they cannot function without you, but you know they can, you should definitely talk to your client about it. In fact, if this happens, a lot has probably gone wrong in the coaching relationship before this point: you gave too much advice that the client depends on, you failed to help the client identify other resources outside the coaching relationship or something else.

Who else does the client have to talk things through?

Sometimes clients do not have anybody to talk things through with. Many executives do not want to talk to their families about their problems and they cannot talk to anyone in their companies because everybody has a vested interest. Just by being there and listening you might be providing a much needed service that the client cannot get anywhere else. If this is the case, you might still ask the client if they want to figure out how to find this support elsewhere (for example with other people in the same position in other companies, or even just a group of friends). You don’t want to end up as their only, paid friend 😊.

What is the client’s life like?

Sometimes people are so busy that they cannot organize a time to reflect if they don’t have a date in their calendar with someone else. They might not “need” you, but they need the ritual of putting a date into their calendar. I don’t see anything wrong with providing clients with that space. They could just go for a walk. They could just ignore their phone. But they would not. In these cases, you might invite the client to think about how they could find the reflection space on their own – if they want.

What are they paying?

If the client can easily pay for your services and they are not sacrificing anything to talk to you, why not continue the sessions? If the client:

- Is not dependent on you

- Appreciates a neutral conversation partner

- Finds it difficult to reserve the time to reflect on their own

- Is not suffering a financial loss

When you are coaching them even if they “theoretically” do not need it: why not offer them the space? I think that it is very important to keep reminding ourselves that our goal is to give people freedom and the ability to lead their lives without us and to question ourselves. With the above reflections, you might get clearer on whether to continue or not. In doubt, talk to a supervisor or come to our free meetups and exchanges to reflect!

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